i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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