I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
