Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
