I'm drive I can fine osifer
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
