Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
