Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I stole a fireplace last night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
