I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
