Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
