And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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