I didn't shave. On purpose
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
sex in a hospital.. check
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
