...so i touched it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
