I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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