we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
