and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
