He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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