one might say we're banned from that church
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
