Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
