He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize