you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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