just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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