His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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