My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
