im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
