found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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