We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
