Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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