just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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