I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
