Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize