just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
