He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
