Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
