just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
