he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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