a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
