So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
