A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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