Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
