Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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