Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He better not be in your backpack
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
