and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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