let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
