This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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