Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
