I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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