wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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