i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
