dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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