He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
