Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
