I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize