it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
