why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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