You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
