Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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