Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
