I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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