meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize