Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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