this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize