I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My vagina just recognized that song.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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