he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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