carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
