goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
