Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if only i could text you this smell
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
